The Bitter Angel
by Orifiel
Summary: "Beware the level plains around, for something lies in wait till found. So listen for the rumbling sound; the devil dwells beneath the ground." A young sentinel walked out of Akuze alone and managed to retain her gentle persona. But when she encounters a thresher maw years later, Shepard's suppressed guilt and anguish turn her into a vengeful force that even she doesn't recognize.


**Title:** The Bitter Angel

**Summary:** "Beware the level plains around, for something lies in wait till found. So listen for the rumbling sound; the devil dwells beneath the ground." A young sentinel walked out of Akuze alone and managed to retain her gentle persona. But when she encounters a thresher maw years later, Shepard's suppressed guilt and anguish turn her into a vengeful force that even she doesn't recognize.

**Kink Meme Prompt:** _"Have there been fics with a Sole Survivor Shepard having to deal with so many thresher maws along her adventures? Perhaps not total breakdown fear, but I'd like to see some sort of reaction from Shepard. Say in ME1 she completely overkills a maw, or for a split second freezes up and has a flashback. Romance optional; if so, Garrus preferred!"_

**Setting:** _Mass Effect 1._

**A/N:** Fill for the kink meme. This is my first time filling a prompt, so hopefully I deliver satisfactorily. I decided to go through with it after I came up with the rhyme at some ungodly hour of the morning instead of working on what I was supposed to. My mini-poems are going to be the death of my multi-chaptered fan fiction.

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_Beware the level plains around…_

_For something lies in wait till found…_

_So listen for the rumbling sound…_

_The devil dwells beneath the ground._

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The dusty wind howled against the exterior of the Mako as it sped bumpily across the desolate surface of Edolus. Shepard's gloved hands on the controls tightened in response to the sense of foreboding clawing at her insides, and she heard her own breathing grow ragged in the confines of her helmet. The mission to locate a team of missing marines had summoned a series of memories that she'd spent years blocking in the darkest recesses of her mind. The last time an entire unit had disappeared, it was because fifty marines had been slaughtered and one had barely escaped alive.

It shouldn't have been her.

"Commander?" Garrus inquired softly from beside her, his voice coming in through the communications channel of their linked radios.

She willed herself to calm down as her eyes remained trained on the viewing monitor. "Yes?"

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine."

He said nothing else, but Wrex issued a disbelieving snort behind them. "What's the matter, Shepard? Your own driving finally making you motion sick?"

She ignored the quip and glanced down at the coordinates of the distress call, seeing their destination fast approaching. The rock highlands lined either side of the Mako's jagged path due north until suddenly the roughness ceased when the terrain smoothed out. They emerged into a barren expanse of flat land, and while Garrus and Wrex muttered to themselves in relief, Shepard's stomach turned into lead.

_Beware the level plains around…_

In the distance she saw a pillar of smoke climbing into the congested atmosphere, a sign that she would not be reporting positive results to Admiral Kahoku. Her unease intensified when the wreckage of the Grizzly came into view, and she slowed down on the acceleration to try to catch any movement or sign of life. Unfortunately, the flying dust became thicker and partially obscured her visual, rendering her nearly blind as they proceeded forward. Stronger torrents in the open land interfered with her already unsteady steering, and she cursed the mechanics of the infuriating vehicle, promising it a similar fate as its burning predecessor.

So onward they went, relying on the radar of the operating panel to guide their way. Shepard concentrated on keeping them from veering off course, and only when the Mako ran over something with a sickening crunch did she jerk back in her seat, gaze snapping to the monitor. They slowed to a stop and she set the vehicle to run on idle as she rotated the turret camera one hundred and eighty degrees in an effort to make out what the tires had crushed.

"I'm sure it was just a piece of debris, Shepard," Garrus said uncertainly. "We should keep going."

"You know what a softie the commander is," grunted Wrex. "She probably wants to make sure we didn't squash another space cow. Hey Shepard, if it is another one of those things, we should eat it this time."

She gestured sharply for them to stop talking. The wind had died down a bit, offering a clearer image on the monitor. As she leaned forward to squint at the silhouette lying prone on the ground behind them, her blood ran cold. The mangled body of an Alliance marine stared back at her lifelessly through the shattered glass of his helmet. Glimpsing cadavers was nothing new, but she fought the wave of nausea that swept over her as she took in the missing half of his face, having been eaten away by the green acid still evident on the remnants of his armor. He had been dead long before their arrival.

And she could guess why.

"Shit," she whispered.

_For something lies in wait till found…_

She restored the camera to its original position and hesitated, reluctant to go on but aware that they needed to search for survivors. The wreckage was still far ahead, which told her that the single corpse had likely been flung all this way by something inherently powerful. Steeling herself, she gripped the controls and started driving again as Garrus stared at her.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just be ready for any trouble."

The dust storm relented as they progressed, granting them the horrific sight of the area surrounding the Grizzly. Shepard's pulse quickened with dread. It was like déjà vu. Human remains were strewn everywhere, some intact, but most just pieces of flesh and bone. All of it was covered with the same green acid that had drenched her unit six years ago and burned scars into the left side of her body. Now the permanent grimace of her mouth deepened as she used the camera to scan the devastation.

"Damn," Wrex piped up, bending closer to get a better look.

In her head she saw the faces of her team, stricken with shock and terror the instant they were besieged. They had been capable people, all good at their jobs, but even the most proficient of warriors couldn't have looked hell in the eye and returned unscathed. And now here, once again, another group was claimed.

She maneuvered the Mako in a wide circle around the gruesome graveyard, alert and cautious for the faintest trace of danger. Every instinct was screaming at her to flee, to speed out of there and radio Joker for pickup. But she had to make sure no was left behind. The Alliance had done that much for her, when everyone else was either ripped apart or melted at her feet, and the least she could do was offer the same chance to another unit. She would finish checking the perimeter, she decided, and then they could leave.

So when the suspension of the Mako gave out and the vehicle collapsed upon itself, refusing to move further, Shepard gave a cry of dismay and asked aloud why, of all times, the accursed contraption chose now to break down. Garrus was already working to find the problem, sounding incredulous at the malfunction after all the work he'd put into maintaining it after every groundside mission.

At that moment, the soil shook ever so slightly.

_So listen for the rumbling sound…_

Shepard heard the tremor before she felt it. Wrex recognized it as well, and he unleashed a stream of profanity as he urged Garrus to hurry and fix whatever had gone wrong with the Mako. A vaguely familiar sensation welled up within her, spreading something close to restless fright throughout her system.

"Joker," she said into the radio, managing to keep her tone even.

The only response was static.

"_Normandy_, do you copy?" she tried again.

More static.

"I think our proximity to that transmitter is interfering with communications," Garrus told her, pointing out the device next to the Grizzly.

She struggled to keep collected as another tremor, stronger this time, rippled through the ground.

"Are we good to go or not?" Wrex barked. "We're going to be as dead as these bastards if we don't get the hell out of here."

"Whatever this green substance is, it completely ate through the tires." Garrus was scrolling quickly through the readings. "The omni-gel we have on hand won't be enough to repair it. We need to get it back to the _Normandy_."

Shepard wasted no time. She brought her fist down on the button to open the hatch and scrambled up from her seat. "We have to deactivate that transmitter. Now. Move out and don't step on the acid!"

Garrus did as told with Wrex close behind. "What's coming, Shepard?"

She was already halfway out of the vehicle. "Remember hearing about what happened on Akuze?"

It took a moment to sink in, but when it did he swore harshly and hurried after her. The wind immediately assaulted them once they left the protection of the Mako, blowing dust and sand onto their helmets as they drew their weapons. Shepard had to swipe at her visor to clear it, and she quickly surveyed their surroundings for a clear path to the transmitter. As soon as she gave the order to sprint for it, the world began to quake.

She toppled over onto a pile of decomposing limbs, hearing the revolting _squish_ of rotting tissue smearing onto her armor. All attempts to right herself failed as the relentless vibrations strengthened into a reverberating crescendo that continuously threw her off balance every time she tried to move. Her squad mates were having similar difficulties nearby, and they had to roll several times to avoid the small pools of acid.

Panic gripped her, temporarily overtaking her senses as she blindly picked a direction and tried to crawl away, desperate to escape. Her hands came into contact with splintered bones and a decapitated head, none of which had any effect on her, as she was too consumed by fear of what lurked under the surface. She could face down Saren. She could handle geth. Even the thorian and the rachni had been dealt with. But this was something that had rooted itself in her psyche, haunted her along with the brutal end to fifty lives. And fate was asking her to live through it again?

Unless this time she wasn't meant to survive.

And then, just as suddenly, everything stopped. The stillness was as alarming as the shaking, and the abrupt change stunned the three individuals into immobility. For a fraction of a second, the only sound was Shepard's indrawn breath.

_The devil dwells beneath the ground._

A deafening roar erupted, chased away the short silence, and accompanied the shattering of the plains as the subterranean behemoth burst forth toward the sky, reaching a terrifying height of at least thirty meters. Its insect-like claws, large and sharp enough to impale an elcor, flexed outward as it continued to vocalize its wrath, searching for those that had disturbed its nest. The terrible mouth was gaping open and dripping with acid, and when it turned and locked on Shepard, she found herself paralyzed at the sight.

"Thresher maw!" Wrex yelled quite unnecessarily as he and Garrus jumped to their feet and surged forward, firearms blazing, to distract the creature from their unmoving leader.

Its piercing screech ripped through the air as the bullets barely grazed its thick plating, more outraged than anything at the assailment. With deliberate action, it reared back in the same movement Shepard had seen over and over again in her nightmares, its feelers coming together briefly as it poised to attack. The instant it lobbed a giant spitball of acid straight at her, she felt herself reeling out of the way, not of her own accord. Garrus had thrown his own body into hers not a moment too soon, for the acid flew past where her head had been and splattered against the side of the Mako, eroding the metal at once.

"Come on, Shepard, get it together," he said breathlessly, picking himself up and grabbing her arm to yank her to her feet.

Her legs felt like pillars of cement, and she attempted to follow him behind cover as Wrex's furious shouting and barrage of shotgun rounds successfully seized the thresher maw's attention.

"I've killed one of these things before!" the krogan bellowed as he ducked and jumped his way around the acid spit flying toward him. "Let's see if I can do it again!"

Garrus clamped a hand over Shepard's shoulder, his face hidden behind his black visor, but his tone ringing with concern for her even when they were all in peril. "We're going to need big guns to take this thing down. The Mako is stationary, but I should still be able to use the turret and the cannon. Could you and Wrex keep it occupied long enough for me to fire them up?"

Feeling weak, mute, and the furthest thing from an N7 marine, Shepard could only nod. He cupped the side of her helmet.

"If it makes it easier, just stay behind cover and keep a barrier on Wrex. We'll make it through this, Shepard. I have faith in you." And with that, he left her side.

It was happening all over again. Combat wasn't her specialty, and on Akuze she had been asked to stay back and provide tech and biotic support while everyone else charged headfirst to fight. She had to watch dozens of them die when the thresher maw effortlessly broke through the barriers she'd given her all to cast. And now, with only three of them to take on an even bigger one, it seemed a futile effort. She had fewer to defend, but also fewer to rely on. Her survival the first time around had been pure luck, and she'd gotten to where she was not by her physical strength but by her technical and biotic aptitude.

Garrus may have had faith in her, but it was a sentiment she didn't share.

However, when Wrex's howl of pain reached her ears, the instinct to protect her crew broke the shackles of her memories, and her concentration came rushing back as she remembered who she was, the person she had become.

Bursting into motion, she shot to a standing position and threw a barrier on him, carefully maneuvering her way closer to where he had fallen to his knees, blood pouring from his hump. He had ventured too far in range of the thresher maw, underestimated its swiftness in his advancing age, and she grunted as she biotically lifted him out of harm's way and set him down on the other side of the Grizzly. The thresher maw took notice of her when its previous target disappeared, and her heart leapt to her throat when it stretched in height and dove forward, the dreadful claws bent to skewer her.

She didn't freeze this time. Throat contracting in a strained scream, she sprung to the side as the thresher maw's face slammed into the ground next to her, and without pausing she dashed away as fast as she could. It straightened and would have tried again, but at that moment the thundering boom of the Mako's cannon echoed across the plains, followed by the long, shrill shriek of the beast. Shepard didn't glance back until she had hurled herself behind the remains of a shuttle. A good sized chunk was missing from the thresher maw's side, and it arched itself back as the turret came to life and fired heavy artillery rounds into its wound.

"You okay?" Garrus asked through the radio. The transmitter's interference wasn't as strong with their close proximity, but she could scarcely make out his words.

"Yes," she replied, watching as the monster thrashed around before disappearing back into its hole. _Oh no._ "Garrus! Get out of the Mako!"

"What?" The communication was heavy with static.

"Get out of there! It's going to strike from under you!"

She faced his direction frantically, ready to aid him with her biotics once he came into view. But as soon as the hatch flew open, the telltale tremor reverberated beneath it. In an instant, the entire vehicle was sent hurtling through the air, and she gasped as Garrus tumbled out and hit the ground with an audible crack. The Mako collided with the Grizzly, barely missing Wrex, and the two vehicles went up in flames.

Shepard's mouth hung open in horror. Garrus wasn't moving and Wrex was dragging himself away from the raging inferno, his regenerative abilities unable to keep up with his blood loss. The thresher maw had returned its focus on her, the only one left standing. Just like before.

Last time, fortune had smiled on her in the form of an Alliance airstrike. Now, she'd count herself lucky if the _Normandy_ would at least fly by and drop some cargo on the thing. The colossal predator salivated above her hungrily, seeming to be contemplating whether to spit acid again or to simply devour her on the spot. She took two steps back, but even if she bolted it would be no use, for she was far too close to dodge it twice. No glimmer of hope, no chance of rescue, yet when it made up its mind to lunge for her, she didn't back down.

Something inside her snapped.

Pressure built in her veins, rushing to her limbs with a hot surge of adrenaline. As the hideous mouth loomed closer, she felt the crippling weight of fear completely give way to raw, unfettered fury. This creature was bound to the prison of its nature; it was intended to be vicious, to be feared. That was what its biological composition dictated. But because of the existence of its kind, people had perished. People with families and dreams and plans for the future. To live out their lives working toward their goals was what _their _biological composition dictated. And now, because she had been a slave to the trauma of her past, her squad mates were facing the same tragic end. But this time, she would protect them. This time, they wouldn't set their graves above the lair of their slayer.

This time, not on her watch.

They had come so far, accomplished more than anyone had thought possible, and their end objective was so close she could practically taste it. Just to meet their demise on this godforsaken planet? Absolutely not. Shame filled her, harsh and sour. Akuze was behind her, and should have stayed that way. It shaped her, marked her, left her troubled and meek, but through the years she had established her own identity. The time to confront this part of her history and put it to rest was long overdue. For the sake of her squad mates and their mission, she could no longer afford to hold back. She was the one they looked to. She was their leader.

And she would _not_ let them die here.

With a savage cry that rang with the vengeance for fifty souls, she charged the thresher maw head on. It obviously didn't expect the action and in its surprise faltered in the slightest. A fatal mistake. At the last second she vaulted between two of its left claws, her lithe body passing through the razor-sharp appendages untouched as her palms burst with blue energy. Twisting around in an aerial maneuver, she aimed for the cavernous injury in its side and unleashed her biotics in a volatile blast. Guts and matter spewed in all directions, spraying her in a mix of orange and green as she landed on her feet at its base.

The unholy scream that rent the air nearly short-circuited her helmet's auditory function. The thresher maw lashed out blindly, so overwhelmed by rage and pain that it failed to strike her even as she ran circles around it, watching for an opening. After a while its entire vertebrae went rigid, and it prepared to sink back down into its burrow to regroup. She saw its intent and quickly raised her arms, biotic energy crackling from her fingertips. Lifting an enormous jagged piece of what was once the Grizzly's exterior, she called upon every ounce of her ability to hurl it in a wide arc, using the trajectory to put the necessary force behind it as it sailed toward its target.

It skewered the monster at an angle, piercing through its plated flesh with a loud crunching sound to embed in the wall of the fissure it tried to retreat into, effectively locking it in place. Shepard was gasping from the effort as its vocal pitch grew sharper, weariness pulling at her muscles as if she had physically thrown the metal segment. But she wasn't finished, not while the thresher maw still roared and whipped about ferociously. Not when her retribution still remained unsatisfied. To end her torment, she had to do this. To honor her fallen comrades, she had to kill it. Her hands came up again.

The exhaustion washed away in the span of seconds, replaced by a level of power that had lain dormant ever since she'd received her L3 implant. Roused by her heightened emotional state, it bypassed the implant and seeped through her pores, casting her entire body in an ethereal blue radiance. From her peripheral vision, she spotted Wrex hauling Garrus' limp form behind cover, signaling that the turian was alive. Had it not been for the damage to his hump, he would have been right there with her in the glow of their biotics. But it was better this way, for this was now her fight alone.

The burning wreckage of the Grizzly shifted.

Sweat poured down her chest and back, soaking her underclothes as she threw all her concentration into lifting the main body of the vehicle. Metal creaked against metal as it untangled from the Mako, still smoldering, while the thresher maw continued its fruitless thrashing. She may have been a bit ambitious in this attempt, but she didn't need this one to go soaring through the sky. Inhaling, she motioned it off the ground and levitated it in midair, testing its buoyancy with her biotic manipulation. Then, with accelerating momentum, she swung.

The Grizzly crashed into the thresher maw like a bludgeon, the impact sending a resonating clap throughout the surface of Edolus. The beast went down like the worm it was while the remainder of the Grizzly went spiraling off to the side. Shepard reeled from the exertion and fought to stay standing, her vision beginning to darken at the corners. She staggered as the world spun once, and her implant throbbed from the strain of the unfiltered biotic use.

But she couldn't afford any downtime, she soon realized, as the thresher maw rose again. It was significantly weaker, but also considerably angrier. Before she could react, it screeched and came down hard, knocking her off her feet with a clumsy sweep of its claws. She went tumbling backwards, catching more grime along the way until she hit the side of the dilapidated shuttle. Disorientation afflicted her, and she hardly had enough time to pull herself together before the next attack. As the maw dropped toward her, self-preservation took over and loaned her one last burst of energy.

_Now or never._

When it was mere yards away, she scrambled up and threw a stasis wave that paralyzed its claws straight out at its sides, rendering them useless. And this time, when it missed, she leapt onto its face and scurried to the top of its head before its mouth could catch her. Infuriated, it tried to shake her off, but its movements were sluggish and ineffective as she clutched its feelers securely. Fatigue seeped into her joints, threatening to numb her grip and send her plummeting a great many meters down. But she'd come this far, and her mind clouded once more with the drive to inflict punishment on this atrocious being.

So when it paused for respite, she saw her chance. Summoning everything she had left, she heaved herself to the rim of its mouth and gazed down into the ghastly chasm. The giant tongue flicked around uncontrollably, trying to reach her as she steadied herself and held out her palm. A flash of blue surged forth and forced the gaping orifice to dilate all the way to the throat, and when the thresher maw gurgled acid in reflex, she ripped the belt of grenades from her waist, yanked out the pins at once, and chucked the explosives down its gullet.

Immediately, she fled by sliding down the length of its spine, the soles of her boots shredding on its bristles. Her breath came out in wheezes as she landed and ran for her life, the lingering glow of her biotics flaring out after her in transparent wings of cobalt. Her eyes beneath her visor were alight with victory even before the thunderous detonation, and she managed a grim smile while she flew, a bitter angel set free as the devil exploded behind her.

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**A/N:** And there you have it. A standalone Shepard completely pwning a thresher maw. This is also my first time writing an action scene, so if you have any suggestions for improvement, please let me know. Thank you for reading!


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